A Friend must be the one who is a friend not just an acquaintance be it new or old, acquaintances have many kinds - from school, college, office, relations, neighbour etc...
In each case we begin with a work-sake relation, then depending on chemistry level of acquaintance deepens to doing personal conversations, going out for good times together and thats when you start accepting people as 'friends'...... you start relying on them start taking them as granted for you, presuming you are now friends and will remain as friends come whatever .
All these chemical reactions and strong feelings merely on the basis that you have good professional relationship, you share good jokes together, you have fun together.
Then someday a mere mis understanding pops in and you witness those unexplored unseen sides of people where One kind would simply go by the fact what a third party has downloaded to him, without giving a bit of personal intelligence or a rational view, and the other kind multiplies the mis understanding up to an irrevocable level..... this wouldnt end here... when you start witnessing the changes (or rather the unseen/hidden sides of a persona) you get stunned and question yourselves - what made you friends at first place, i should have known him more.
We rush into relationships as Friends, good friends and best friends on the only ground that we have good talks and have good time together. This may be a reason why relations failing these days with far increased frequency.... now normally everybody is good until/unless you see bad side of him as in how capable is he :
In handling unusual and uncomfortable situations
In having a rational view of worse situations
In giving an ear to everyone in a broken relation
In replacing shoes
In efforts of make-up
Having had bad and good experiences in friendship I only now have realised - it isn't worthy making a Friend unless you have reasons to trust and respect someone, this basically is the core string that lasts longest and strongest to testify worse situations , those might or might not be the ones with who you crack jokes or lol but they are the true material who well deserve the honorable title of a "Friend" , must you keep rest all as acquaintance so that you atleast dont fool yourself and get carried away in a relation only to be ditched later.
So the point is (in my opinion ofcourse) : must you verify the capacity of a person on above listed points before committing or becoming "friends"
Tell me your views even if you can't wait to write that i don't make any sense to you...
~Cheers
The whole beauty of entering into a relationship would be lost if we try to put mathematics in it. It would then become a mere business. Rather it would be taken as a free flowing river. Take is as it comes to you and follow your intuition on the direction you want to give your relationship, and how strong you want to make the relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhen you enter in a friendship, you would only proceed if you find some sort of compatibility between you two, and every person consciously or subconsciously knows what he is entering into.
Bonding and breaking is all part of life and very natural. And if one is feel ditched, chances are that either you have suppressed your inner voice or expected more out from the friendship. Expectations are fatal for any relationship. You have probably tried to make building on a lousy soil. Chances are that you have ditched yourself.
As the life passes by, some new friends are put top on the stack, some are forgotten, and some are just there. Just open the contact list of your cell phone, and you will realize that there are many friends that are there just on your contact list, not active in your life.
Chanakya said "There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no Friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth".
So I would just say that meet people, make friends, walk with them, enjoy them till there is warmth in the friendship, part with them when your route is different, and on the new route... meet people, make friends, walk with them.....
There is a quote that I like very much about friendship, it goes, "Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are". So listen to your heart, befriend someone who will complement you, will give air to your wings, help transcending your abilities.